Dear Love Doves,
Hi, I’m torn between leaving my ex and moving on. There’s this
guy that I’m interested in, but i still have feelings for my ex. I’m
afraid that he’s not ready for commitment. My ex seems to have a change
of heart in how much he wants a relationship with me. He just recently
told me that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to make everything
right between us. Deep down i want to give him another chance but I’m
afraid because this new guy seems really nice and may be exactly what i
need, but my ex may become everything that I’m missing if I completely
let him go. I don’t know how to go about things without making the WRONG
decision. Help please…
_cindyLOVE
Dear _cindyLove,
First, let us say that this is a common conflict that most people
find themselves having trouble with. Now, a word about your ex or almost
any man for that matter, he only wants you extremely bad now because he
has noticed that you’ve pushed yourself away from him. Men love to have
women dwell on the idea of being with them because we tend to do almost
anything to keep them. When we stop giving them so much attention and
they see us moving on, they begin to do or say things to try to draw you
back in. Trust us. We know this from experience. We’re not saying that
you should just leave your ex forever. Just sit down and think about
what it is that you really want. Don’t try to move on to another guy if
you still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend. You won’t put your all
into this next guy and you won’t give him a fair chance at trying to
make you happy. In the end, you’ll just end up playing with his feelings
and breaking his heart. He’ll resent you for it and you’ll never know
what kind of chance you could’ve had with him. Now, if your feelings for
your ex are as strong as you’re making them seem, then you definitely
need to pause before making your next move with this new guy.
If you believe that you truly work things out with your ex-boyfriend,
then communicate with him and tell him how you genuinely feel. Let him
show you that he is really trying to be with you because he loves you,
not because you’re creating a life without him. If he can prove to you
that he is worthy of your love, and you still have feelings for him,
maybe you two should reexamine the possibility of you two working
together. Consider all things. Why is he your ex-boyfriend now? What
problems did you have before? As important as it is to regard your
feelings, you have to remember what went wrong before. Is he willing to
change his ways and are you willing to change yours? Figure out if your
relationship could ever work again and if you two can get past what went
wrong. If you honestly think it’s not right for the two of you to
reconnect then pursue your new crush if you think it is right but only
if you’re ready to let your feelings go for your ex
Be honest with your ex, be honest with your crush and let your heart guide you.
Signed,
The Love Doves
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Cupid's Arrow Misses Its Mark
Hello ladies and gents:
I have a conflict, and I need some advice. Love has always been an up and down battle that I have gone through, and am going through now. I've been cheated on in the past many of times, so I have trust issues. You would think that I would have my guard up—NEGATIVE. I wear my heart and my love on my sleeve all of the time and that’s how I end up hurt. I just want to be loved back. The problem is I’ve been in a relationship for a little over a year and a half and everything was good at first, but the feelings that I once felt for my significant other are slowly fading away. I do have feelings, but I’m not satisfied with him like I used to be--I’m talking emotionally and sexually. He has more growing up to do. I should be respected more. He should show me that he loves and cares for me more, and I should be treated like a queen. To me, I’m not asking for too much because I was getting all of that in previous relationships-- plus I deserve it. I don’t want to just settle with him because we have a child together, but I do want to love him. Well, I do love him but I want to be in love with him like I was when I was with the person before. I just want to feel butterflies! What should I do in this situation?
From,
Butterflies
Dear Butterflies:
So, the problem is, you don’t have feelings for the man that you are with anymore? The best thing we can say for you is to consider your happiness and his. First, you must figure something out. At what point in the relationship did you fall out of love with him? Did he do something like cheat to push you away? It may be that you’re a different person than you were when you met him. There’s a simple solution: re-evaluate yourself. Maybe you just want different things--it happens. You’re probably at that age when you need to think long-term when it comes to relationships--especially since you have a child with this man. Think about yourself, but think about your boyfriend as well. If you don’t want to be with him, don’t pretend anymore. You don’t want to hurt his feelings or string him along. Plain and simple: don’t waste time and energy that could be spent finding true happiness. If you aren’t happy, you deserve to be, and so does he. If there is more to the problem, like trust issues or other baggage, look deep in yourself and figure out if you want to work on it. If not, let it go. If you choose to work it out with him, then take these appropriate steps: COMMUNICATE! COMMUNICATE! COMMUNICATE! We can’t even begin to tell you the number of relationships that we’ve personally seen deteriorate because the couple did not talk to one another. Be honest. Trust us. He may not like what you have to say, but he’ll definitely appreciate you “keeping it real” with him. You say that you still love him so, nine times out of ten, you’re willing to fix whatever is broken. Unless you’re one of those women that says, “love is not enough.” Whatever decision you make, make sure you do it for the benefit of your child. Whether you work it out with your boyfriend or not, that child deserves to have both a mother and a father in their life. Don’t rob that from the child because you fell out of love with their father. Who knows? Eventually, those butterflies may return and you’ll be walking down the aisle in your beautiful white dress while your bridesmaids are modeling those frumpy, pastel Easter Sunday dresses. Hope we’ve helped. If you have more problems, be sure to email us.
Signed,
The Love Doves
I have a conflict, and I need some advice. Love has always been an up and down battle that I have gone through, and am going through now. I've been cheated on in the past many of times, so I have trust issues. You would think that I would have my guard up—NEGATIVE. I wear my heart and my love on my sleeve all of the time and that’s how I end up hurt. I just want to be loved back. The problem is I’ve been in a relationship for a little over a year and a half and everything was good at first, but the feelings that I once felt for my significant other are slowly fading away. I do have feelings, but I’m not satisfied with him like I used to be--I’m talking emotionally and sexually. He has more growing up to do. I should be respected more. He should show me that he loves and cares for me more, and I should be treated like a queen. To me, I’m not asking for too much because I was getting all of that in previous relationships-- plus I deserve it. I don’t want to just settle with him because we have a child together, but I do want to love him. Well, I do love him but I want to be in love with him like I was when I was with the person before. I just want to feel butterflies! What should I do in this situation?
From,
Butterflies
Dear Butterflies:
So, the problem is, you don’t have feelings for the man that you are with anymore? The best thing we can say for you is to consider your happiness and his. First, you must figure something out. At what point in the relationship did you fall out of love with him? Did he do something like cheat to push you away? It may be that you’re a different person than you were when you met him. There’s a simple solution: re-evaluate yourself. Maybe you just want different things--it happens. You’re probably at that age when you need to think long-term when it comes to relationships--especially since you have a child with this man. Think about yourself, but think about your boyfriend as well. If you don’t want to be with him, don’t pretend anymore. You don’t want to hurt his feelings or string him along. Plain and simple: don’t waste time and energy that could be spent finding true happiness. If you aren’t happy, you deserve to be, and so does he. If there is more to the problem, like trust issues or other baggage, look deep in yourself and figure out if you want to work on it. If not, let it go. If you choose to work it out with him, then take these appropriate steps: COMMUNICATE! COMMUNICATE! COMMUNICATE! We can’t even begin to tell you the number of relationships that we’ve personally seen deteriorate because the couple did not talk to one another. Be honest. Trust us. He may not like what you have to say, but he’ll definitely appreciate you “keeping it real” with him. You say that you still love him so, nine times out of ten, you’re willing to fix whatever is broken. Unless you’re one of those women that says, “love is not enough.” Whatever decision you make, make sure you do it for the benefit of your child. Whether you work it out with your boyfriend or not, that child deserves to have both a mother and a father in their life. Don’t rob that from the child because you fell out of love with their father. Who knows? Eventually, those butterflies may return and you’ll be walking down the aisle in your beautiful white dress while your bridesmaids are modeling those frumpy, pastel Easter Sunday dresses. Hope we’ve helped. If you have more problems, be sure to email us.
Signed,
The Love Doves
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Friendships and Relationships
Platonic friendships and intimate relationships--can you connect the two? No? Well, let us help and guide you through it.
First, you meet a person and are possibly physically attracted to them. Maybe you noticed some things about them or just bumped into them and started making conversation. Either way, you’ve now acknowledged that the other exists.
After the “greet and meet,” you discover a connection and you continue to build something beautiful--a friendship.
Now, let’s pause while we tell you what friendship requires: honesty, trust, support, kindness, generosity and love.
Sound familiar? Well, that’s because those same traits are among the many characteristics of an intimate relationship.
During the friendship stage, you learn a person’s likes/dislikes, pet peeves, emotions, aspirations and much more.
Now, if this friendship grows and the two become best friends, what shall happen next? They soon discover their mutual affection, and decide to try their hands at a relationship.
“What qualities do you look for in a best friend?” Mister Cullen, a blogger of Hub Pages, writes to his readers. “These same qualities should also be found in your spouse. A successful marriage is one where you can be free and be yourself without any restrictions.”
We’re not saying go and get married as soon as you choose to be together. We’re just simply attempting to demonstrate how the two correlate. After all, friendships are considered to be relationships.
Without constructing a friendship, how could one expect a real intimate relationship to succeed? You have to trust each other like best friends, be honest with each other like best friends, love each other like best friends and be able to have a deeper connection other than just sexual.
Friendships are there to help get you through hardships
Intimacy contributes love to the heart and companionship to the lips
Together both relationships have potential to soar into the sky
As they have no limits, they can go very low or extremely high
To be best friends means to be there for one another
But to be lovers is a vow to take things even further
True friendships give birth to true love
And opens doors to intimate blessings from above
Not sexual or physical, something emotional and mental
A genuine connection, something developmental
Please listen to these words and take heed to what we say
Friends before lovers, no matter the cliché
(Ending poem by Amanda Usher)
(Ending poem by Amanda Usher)
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
10 Commandments of Love
1. Thou shall trust wholeheartedly.
2. Thou shall practice proper communication with his or her partner.
3. Thou shall listen with gentle ears.
4. Thou shall be faithful.
5. Thou shall play fair.
6. Thou shalt not practice verbal, physical, emotional or mental abuse.
7. Thou shalt not be dishonest.
8. Thou shalt not allow little disagreements to overshadow love.
9. Thou shalt not mistake love for lust.
10. Thou shalt not abandon his or her partner in his or her time of need.
2. Thou shall practice proper communication with his or her partner.
3. Thou shall listen with gentle ears.
4. Thou shall be faithful.
5. Thou shall play fair.
6. Thou shalt not practice verbal, physical, emotional or mental abuse.
7. Thou shalt not be dishonest.
8. Thou shalt not allow little disagreements to overshadow love.
9. Thou shalt not mistake love for lust.
10. Thou shalt not abandon his or her partner in his or her time of need.
Send all of your relationship questions either in a comment below or to vsulovegame@gmail.com! Questions will be kept anonymous!
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